Smoking a joint is one of the best ways to chill out and destress from a stressful work week. There’s nothing quite like a puff to melt your stress away.
Unfortunately, this means that your boss can fire you — no matter which state you’re in — if you happen to be caught smoking marijuana…or simply test positive on a drug test.
Thankfully, we’ve put together a list of some of the best detox drinks out there that can help you pass that pesky drug test. Read on for the lowdown on these drinks, how they work, and how you can make the most out of them.
What Are Drug Tests For?
Drug tests are usually pre-employment requirements, since employers are usually keen on keeping a “drug-free workplace”. In the same vein, most employers have random drug testing to keep their people in check.
Drug tests work by screening for toxins or drug metabolites that have been left behind by whatever drug you’ve used. In the case of weed, it’s tetrahydrocannabinol or THC. Usually, if a test finds you with at least 50 ng/ml of THC in your system, it’s a positive test and your employer has the right to fire you for testing positive for drugs.
Even though marijuana has been proven to be relatively harmless, it’s still classified under Schedule I of the Controlled Substances Act. This classification is supposed to be for drugs that “have no currently accepted medical use” but it’s clear that cannabis really should be there! Medical marijuana has been used in an official capacity for over a decade and cannabis is now legal in several states.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter if your state’s legalized the use of marijuana, or even if you use marijuana for medical purposes: In 2015, a paraplegic employee who used medical marijuana was fired by his company when he tested positive on a random drug test. He then sued for wrongful termination, but the Supreme Court ruled against him since marijuana is illegal under federal law.
The lesson here is that you simply can’t be too careful with your drug use – even if you think that your employer is “cool”, you can still be reprimanded for medical usage.
How Do Drug Tests Work?
There are a bunch of different ways to test for drugs: through blood, hair, and most commonly, pee. Urine tests are the cheapest, which is why they’re the most common. This has led people to come up with plenty of creative ways to beat them, such as substituting someone else’s clean pee for their own.
Of course, enforcers got creative too, so drug tests are now usually supervised. In this case, it becomes trickier to substitute pee, and it makes it easier to simply detox and submit clean, legit samples.
Hair tests are really hard to pass if there happens to have been any drugs in your system for the past 90 days. Drug metabolites stay in hair for quite a while, and you can’t submit fake hair samples (they’ll likely be the ones to collect them on your head, or even elsewhere).
Blood tests are the most accurate drug tests out there, but they’re also the most expensive and intrusive, so they aren’t that common. You also can’t fake these – the testers will be the ones actually drawing out your blood, and your main hope for passing is that all substances have been flushed out from your system for at least 30 days, depending on your usage.
How Long Does It Take for the Body to Detox Drugs?
While marijuana’s the least dangerous out of all the so-called illegal drugs out there, it happens to be the one that’s hardest to get out of your system. THC is fat-soluble, which means it gets absorbed by your fatty tissues before getting released back into your bloodstream, little by little, depending on your metabolism.
Other drug metabolites are easier to flush out of your system. If you’re a light user, here’s how long it might take for them to get flushed out:
- Cocaine: 3 to 4 days
- Heroin: 3 to 4 days
- LSD or acid: 1 to 3 days
- MDMA or ecstasy: 3 to 4 days
- Methamphetamine or crystal meth: 3 to 6 days
Since this would all depend on your metabolism, take into consideration your weight, gender, and the amount of weed you take in. It can take a much longer time if you’re a heavy user!
What are Detox Drinks for Weed?
Even though they’re called detox drinks, these detox drinks do not actually completely detoxify drug metabolites from your system. Instead, what they do is keep these metabolites from being released into your urine, so for a while, your pee will be “masked” and not test positive for drugs.
Aside from this, detox drinks will also contain diuretics, or stuff that will make you pee more. The more you pee, the more metabolites can get flushed out of your body. An example of a diuretic is caffeine, which is also found in coffee and energy drinks.
While peeing out all the metabolites can be effective, it can make your pee diluted. This might raise some red flags, and you might be required to come back for a retest. Detox drinks will also make sure your pee contains the usual minerals it needs to make it an inconspicuous sample.
For Frequent Users
Unfortunately, even the best detox drinks will have a hard time inhibiting traces of drug metabolites in your urine if you’re a frequent, heavy user. If you know you have a drug test coming up, like when you’re applying for a job, the best thing to do would be to go on a natural detox.
To go on a natural detox, do the following:
- Abstain from all toxins — drugs, alcohol, even coffee
- Avoid fatty foods and eat your greens
- Drink lots and lots of water
- Sleep well — keep a regular sleep schedule and clock in enough hours
- Sweat it out in a sauna
On the day of your drug test, make your cleanse more effective by taking detox drinks.
The Best Detox Drinks for Drug Tests
There are all sorts of detox drinks out there, and some are nothing more than glorified energy drinks, meaning they aren’t particularly effective. They might make you pee a lot, as diuretics do, but as we mentioned earlier, they might just make your pee really diluted and force you to do a retake.
Here are some of the best detox drinks that are actually worth your money:
1. Detoxify Mega Clean Cleansing Drink With Pre-Cleanse Pills
This detox drink isn’t just a drink! As its name implies, it’s used alongside some pills. For it to work, you’ll need to abstain from any toxins at least 24 hours before your drug test. The six pills are meant to be taken four hours apart, along with lots of water, for maximum detoxing.
Make sure you keep the detox drink itself chilled, and you’ll need it on the day of your drug test. Around two to three hours before the test, take your drink, give it a good shake, open it, then drink it all up! There are two flavors you can choose from: tropical fruit or wild berry.
Let it sit for a little bit, then after about 15 minutes, refill the bottle with water and drink it. You can repeat this as much as you want to help your body detox more.
Detoxify Mega Clean can mask or inhibit toxins from your urine for around five hours, but reviewers say that it’s most effective around the three-hour mark.
2. Clear Choice Rescue Cleanse
While this drink doesn’t come with pills that you also need to take, it will need a longer abstinence time. Instead of just 24 hours, you’ll need to keep away from toxins for 48 to 72 hours, or two to three days. You’ll also need to have an empty stomach before taking it, which usually means you have to stop eating around four hours before taking it.
Once your tummy’s empty, you can start chugging your Rescue Cleanse. Shake it well, and make sure that you have at least an hour (and at most five hours) before your drug test because you’ll need to drink plenty of water after. Start drinking water 15 minutes after drinking Rescue Cleanse, and make sure you pee about three times before going into your drug test.
For frequent users who are at least 200 pounds, it’s better to choose the bigger size or drink more than one to make sure that your whole body gets detoxified. It’s also important to not eat anything while taking the drink and until after the test, so you can get the best results.
Most reviewers say that Rescue Cleanse works best around two hours after taking the drink, so try to get your test done then. If you’re also a frequent, heavy user, it’s best to always have a couple of these stocked away in your fridge, so you can easily detox yourself if there are random drug tests being conducted at your workplace.
3. Quick Clear Detox Drink
The name might sound vaguely familiar because this detox drink is actually made by the same company that manufactures Quick Fix Synthetic Urine. Quick Fix is known as high-quality synthetic urine that’s successfully passed lots of drug tests, so you can be confident that Quick Clear is a good product as well.
Like the first drink we talked about here, Quick Clear comes with detox pills that you should take along with the drink. But you don’t take the pills before the drink, instead, before you take the drink, you consume at least 20 fluid ounces of water over fifteen minutes.
Once you’re done with that, give the Detox Drink a good shake then drink it over the next fifteen minutes. While drinking it, you should also be taking the pills. Use the Detox Drink to down them!
Wait 20 minutes, then drink more water. You should pee a lot over the next hour, after which you should be clear of toxins for around five hours. However, most reviewers say that it’s usually around two to four hours.
Despite the overwhelming evidence that marijuana isn’t actually as bad as federal laws make it out to be, it remains unfortunately illegal and possible grounds for termination. While this is unfair, it is reality. Thankfully, there are some great detox drinks out there that can help you pass any urine test. And if detoxing isn’t your thing you can always opt for an effective synthetic urine like Quick Fix 6.2, which will have you passing every single time!